Going Bald & Boujee.

Losing your hair as a 27 year old woman is a one of a kind experience. Honestly, I had no idea how I would react when I had to say goodbye to my beloved long blonde hair. At times I was strong and ready to own it, other times I broke down at the thought of looking in the mirror at the new me.

Before chemo started, I decided to cut my long hair into a bob for two reasons. First, I was told going from long hair to bald is much more traumatic than short to bald. Second, I wanted to donate my hair and make a difference to someone else who had to experience losing their hair. Bright side of this part... I absolutely loved my bob for the couple of weeks I had it and plan to go back to it once my treatment is complete! People who know me are aware of how much I've always loved my long hair so I am sure they are shocked to hear of my new found love of short hair.

My type of chemotherapy treatment had a one hundred percent chance of causing total hair loss. Cancer controlled so much of my life, I wanted to take matters into my own hands when possible. I decided that cancer was not going to take my hair and leave me bald, I was going to do it myself.

I told this idea to the hair stylist who helped me purchase my wigs through the "Back to You" program (I will be doing a separate post on wigs) and she came up with the most wonderful idea... a "going bald" party with my closest friends.

My amazing sister and friends traveled from Dallas, Kansas City, and Virginia Beach to be by my side through this difficult time. It is so hard to ask for help, but I truly could not do this part without them. They surrounded me with love and support throughout the entire weekend, it brought excitement and happiness to a very dark moment in my life.

For the party, the stylist closed the salon early, decorated with pink accessories, and made us feel at home. I was trembling at my reality and deeply saddened that the time to go bald had come. As soon as we got to the salon, my sister and I received a picture from our Dad... he had shaved his head to support me. I cried and laughed so hard it left all of us in an emotional state.

I sat down in the salon chair and one of my close guy friends said " Get up, I'm going first." He could see the fear in my eyes and jumped in to bring me comfort. Wow. It meant the world to me. We both got our heads shaved into mohawks for fun and then all the way bald. While the stylist was working on my head, I grabbed the hair trimmer and shaved a part myself.

I took control and it felt powerful.

The celebration was the perfect way to say goodbye to my hair surrounded by love and comfort. Everyone kept my spirits high and got me through the first night of my new look.

Now, I am keeping my blog honest. I am going to share the more difficult experience of hair actually falling out of my head. This was rough. I was lucky enough to have a friend in town on that day to be with me in this moment.

When going Bald and Boujee at the salon, my hair stylist buzzed my hair so at the time my hair fell out, I had around a half an inch of hair on my head. Immediately after my second round of AC, I was in the shower and ran my hands on top of my head. I looked down and my hands and shower were covered with my hair. This was a shocking moment. Holding my hair in my hands made me extremely uneasy. I began frantically rubbing my head to remove as much hair as I could. I could feel patches and clumps amidst hair that was staying in place. Ugh I did not want patches... that is worse than bald!

I rubbed and scrubbed as much hair as I possibly could. When I got out of the shower, I looked in the mirror at my patchy, tender head and burst into tears. This image of myself was the hardest I had to see. I looked sickly, sad, and broken. My friend leaped into action and sat me down in front of her as she tried to remove the remaining patches of hair. This process was disturbing and difficult for both of us. We decided that the best thing to do was to go get it shaved by a professional to alleviate the situation until the rest of the hair fell out.

The next morning we went to a salon and had my head shaved. We also picked up scalp oil (in my products post) to sooth the irritation caused by hair loss. My head was smooth and my spirits were back up. I experienced total hair loss by the time it could grow back and have been completely bald since.

I am sharing this darker moment not to scare, but to help others mentally prepare. I will not lie and tell you losing your hair is easy. It is very shocking. It was a physical representation of being sick. Although the process is difficult, there are thing that can make the process a little easier. Over time, you will look in the mirror and it won't surprise you anymore. It gets easier. There will always be a mix of dark days, but remember your bald head represents how strong you are.

You are a Bald and Boujee Fighter.